Exploring the "Should's": Is it Necessity, Desire, or Guilt?
By : Jennifer Koretsky
Find People, Friends & Old Lovers Free! Who is looking for you?
How many times a day do you find yourself using the word "should"? ADDers are full of "should's": I should do the dishes, I should clean out the fridge, I should see that movie, I should call my friend, etc. The word "should" can be very dangerous to an adult with ADD, because it often results in guilt.
In order to break through this and help you prioritize the things that you "should" do, try exploring your "should's" by asking yourself the following question:
Is this a necessity, a desire, or guilt? Here are some examples:
I should do my taxes.
Necessity: If you don't do your taxes, you can find your finances slipping out of control. You can end up owing the government penalty fees. And you will absolutely have undue stress. This "should" is a necessity.
I should buy that CD.
Desire: This is something that you want to make you happy. You like the music you hear, and therefore you want to own it. This "should" is a desire.
I should clean my house more often.
Guilt: If the "should" comes when you compare yourself to others, then guilt is probably involved. It often happens when we feel like we are not living up to the performance or expectations of others (or our perceived performance/expectations of others.) If you visit a friend's house and its neat and clean, you may falsely interpret this to mean that your friend cleans all the time. In reality, your friend may have spent hours cleaning her/his house before you arrived to make it look nice! If you are physically and mentally comfortable with the amount of time you spend cleaning your house, then cleaning more often is not a necessity, it's not a desire, its a "should" that is just useless guilt!
Try this exercise for a whole day. Every time you find yourself using the word "should," ask yourself if its a necessity, desire, or guilt. I promise that you'll feel a lot a better about all the things you think you "should" be doing!
© Copyright 2004
Jennifer Koretsky is a Professional ADD Management Coach who helps adults manage their ADD and move forward in life. She encourages clients to increase self-awareness, focus on strengths, and create realistic action plans. She offers a 90-day intensive skill-building program, workshops, and private coaching. Her work has been featured in numerous media, including The New York Times Magazine. To subscribe to Jennifer’s free email newsletter, The ADD Management Guide, please visit http://www.addmanagement.com/e-newsletter.htm jennifer@addmanagement.com
RELATED ARTICLES BELOW
Reunite With Loved Ones!
Thai Massage
By : Sharon Hopkins
Binge Eating is Not Black and White
By : Kristin Gerstley
How To Stretch for Health
By : Gary Matthews
Is a Tummy Tuck For Me?
By : Keith Londrie
Exploring the "Should's": Is it Necessity, Desire, or Guilt?
By : Jennifer Koretsky
Youth People Obsessed With Sunless Tanning
By : Dana Scripca
Resolution: Stop Dieting for the Health of it!
By : Michael Dimas
benefits of the Soya Bean
By : John Gibb
Safety And The Tanning Bed
By : Anndrea Jenkin
Exercise the Right Way to Boost Your Energy
By : Dr Edward Steiner